There's been a murdurrrr........

[This was originally posted before Blogger had its hissy fit a couple of days ago. Now it's back!]

"There's been a murder, Sir."

"No' again, Jardine. Where this time?"

"Maryhill, Sir. Up near the canal, behind Firhill. It's a 28 year old male. Media's all over it like a rash."

"Media.... Cause of death?"

"Multiple cuts, Sir. Folks are blaming it on the English."

"Why - I didn't think Alex Salmond was that young."

"Naw, it's no' him. The body's no' that big. Apparently the victim just wasn't popular anymore. Something about not being original enough."

"Did they try to revive him?"

"A bit. They gave him a shot but apparently the damage was too bad. We've got a couple of suspects, though."

"Already?"

"Aye. Some posh bloke called Fellowes. Lives in some place called Downton Abbey."

"Downton Abbey? Wherr's that?"

"Dunno. Apparently it only appears if you're in England and Wales."

"What are you waiting for then, Jardine? Get him in here now..."

[cue dramatic guitar music]